One Month

The 100k I registered for is in 1 month.

My brain is about to explode.

This injury has thrown off everything – my training, my fitness, my mental strength. Where, a couple months ago when I registered, I was fully confident in my ability to run 62 miles, I am currently unsure if (in my current state) I am ready for it.

This has been on my mind for the past week or so but it’s taken over my entire mind for the past couple of days. I know I have to actually make a decision about this at some point in the very near future. Do I think I can regain enough fitness and strength to do it?

I. Don’t. Know.

YES
– I’ve been running again for 2 weeks
– I’ve felt strong following runs, not drained
– Still have 3 weeks of training and 3 weekends of long runs to get in a good place
– Thursday was 10 and felt good

NO
– Most of my runs have had an Advil assist
– Hills are a bit hard still and I’ve had to stop to breathe a few times
– Have only put up 2 full runs since back – took MONTHS to get in the shape I was in
– Wednesday was only 6 and it was a super meh

Basically, I think I’ll know better after this weekend. I’m going to put up a slightly longer run (13-15) on Saturday and then follow it up with a full run (10) on Sunday. I need both of these to go really well in order to feel confident that I can do it.

Amazingly, I think that the physical factors will probably slow me down, which is a big meh. The real hurdle here is probably mental, which is usually my strong suit. EXCEPT since this is following up an injury, I’m all out of sorts. I don’t want to push TOO much but at the same time, I could probably slog through 15 hours of running if I am challenged to (seriously, I just said that. 15 hours? No big).

Here’s to trusting the process.